Random Musing - August 19, 2010

I love this time of year. The days are getting a little cooler, the Patriots are on, and I know college football season is right around the corner. Life is good - at least part of it.
I have been thinking a lot lately of how the impact we leave on each other has such a bearing on our character. Frankly, I like to think I am a good person - not a great person like my mom is or my dad was - but a good person. I have my flaws. I am rash, abrasive, a little (ok, maybe a lot) snooty, and caught up with the Joneses. I hate these characteristics about myself. A good friend pointed out tonight that we all have flaws, it is what makes us who we are. I understand that. Very much so. What I don't understand is how I can come from such great stock and turn into a guy that isn't like his parents - his ultimate role models?
Many of you know this about me, but as a gay man, I feel like I have two strikes against me even before someone gets to know me. Not because I am gay, but because I am different. I know, I know, most of you are saying "We love you regardless." I appreciate that, I really do. It is nice to be accepted face-value, ask anyone. I think what I am trying to say is that even though I am different, I am still me. I like things. I like it when someone pays me a compliment. Because of this, I try to be as complimentary as possible. Sometimes it works out and something good happens, but sometimes, it backfires. I hate that. I hate that I can be this guy who can see the good in people and comment on it, and it isn't received the way it should be. I pose to you, my readers and followers, is it worth being a complimentary person even if the complimentee doesn't appreciate it?
What stems this? I think it is the years of rejection. The years when I tried to make a new friend by putting myself out there and having it backfire on me. What's the point? The point is, regardless of how it is received, I am still a complimentary character. It is definitely a trait I picked up from my parents more so than anyone else. I will continue to pay compliments, even if they aren't received the way I expect, and I will continue to do it with dignity, pride, and most of all, with the gentlemanly qualities that my role models have worked so hard to provide me.
Recently, I have learned that no matter what others may think, at the end of the day, if you can be the you that you love, that is all that matters. I am brusque. I am opinionated. And most of all, I am me, and there is no one like me in this world. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
So I leave you with this: I think of all the people who have come and gone from my life and realize that life is too short to really sweat the disappointments. I hope you find some sort of connection to this ditty.  It definitely sums up this guy - a lot - and listen to the lyrics. It will change your world!