Random Musings - September 1, 2010

Labor day weekend is right around the corner. I am starting to really hate this time of year. You see, last year for Labor Day weekend, I flew down to Hilton Head to spend the weekend with my dad who was recently diagnosed with cancer a few weeks prior, and my mom, to lend her a little support. I remember picking up the car at the airport, landing later than I expected, and heading over to the the gated community where my folks live. I remember the heaviness of the air, the Spanish moss under the moonlight, and the smell of my dad in his car. And I remember my dad. He didn't look like himself. He was gaunt and so thin in the face, but regardless of the physical differences, I remember how he lit up when I walked into the house and how he got up from his chair and gave me a Big Daddy hug like I remembered as a kid. Except, it wasn't my dad. It was this shell of him, dwindling away. But the light in his eyes was still there. I loved this weekend, though it was the last one where my dad was really able to function with limited help. It was the beginning of the end.
So, this weekend I dread will be incredibly painful. I will conjure up memories of my dad, both good and bad, and realize how empty it is without him around. I will watch Georgia football, and hope my Bulldogs win big, but won't make the celebratory phone call to Big Daddy. I will grill something, but it won't have the same taste as it did when my dad grilled out.
I have realized a lot over the past few months that no one is ever replaceable in our lives. People come and go from our lives for a reason and purpose. There are reasons the people in my life, old and new, are here. I am a firm believer in this. I welcome it. I embrace it.
So, if you read this, and feel something, think about the people in your life, past and present. Think of the impact they have left on you. Think about the impact you have left on them. Lately, I have been listening to a lot of music from my awkward college years. This song came out my Freshman year of college - a time where I was going through a tough transition in my own life. The lyrics are enough to drive any 19 year old in love crazy. I hope you can connect to it to.
Happy Labor Day. Be safe this weekend!