Random Musing - September 15, 2010

Tonight, I got a lot of thinking about those who come and go from our lives. Some stay forever, some, just a short while. Since my move to the city, I have been introduced to several new people who I am incredibly excited to have met, and I have lost connections along the way. The one person though who isn't there is my dad. I know I write a lot about my dad, but tonight is different. You see, I was cleaning off my desktop tonight of all the old grad school papers I wrote for other classes and I came across a file called "Eulogy." I forgot that it was on my desktop and I opened it. And I cried. A lot. I miss my dad something awful, especially this time of year. Even as a gay man, I can still talk sports, and I think that my dad had a lot to do with that. I mean, I would recap the football games with him every weekend when he was here. Watching football isn't the same, but I know that if I didn't do it, I wouldn't be able to fondly remember my dad. So, as I am going through the eulogy I wrote, I realized how short, simple, and to the point it was; just like my dad was. I know this is self-serving, but I feel it is appropriate, so I will share it with you.

Thank you all for coming today to share in the memory of my father’s life. Most of you knew Ron Blasdel in some capacity or another. I knew him only as my dad; the guy that no matter what was there when I needed him. Over the past few days, I have heard many things stated about my dad. That he was larger than life; that he was always had a big grin on his face; that he enjoyed life. What I knew about my dad was this: he loved his family. He and my mother Maureen celebrated forty years of marriage earlier this year. He loved talking about his grandchildren Nicholas, William, and Samantha. He looked forward to visits from my sister Amy and her husband, Rob and from myself and my partner Bob. He loved playing Brady to Moss with his dog Molly.  He loved the Sunday phone calls, the holiday meals, the birthdays, and just spending time with his family. Most of you know my dad was an avid golfer and nothing made him happier than swinging a club and playing 18. He loved living in Hilton Head and would always let us know that it was “another beautiful day in the Low Country” regardless of the time of year it was.  My dad loved his cigars, and his second favorite pastime was when he was engrossed in a good book with a good cigar. At the end of the day, my dad loved many things, but it was his family he loved the most. Everything else was just the gravy on top. So today, as we mourn this loss and work on mending the enormous, larger than life hole that we have been left, we should keep the memories and stories we have of Ron, my dad, with us.

As I recollect the past, and feel that I have a guardian angel over me, making sure I make smart, if not always the right choices. He always said "that's just the gravy, Christopher, don't worry about it." I never got that until I was older. I am realizing that the gravy these days is anything exciting that happens in my life.

So tonight, I share two things with you. The first is a photograph taken in 2007. My mom and dad took myself and my partner to Charleston for a night. It was an incredible evening, and my dad, being a huge history buff, was in his element.

Dad, me and Mom, November 2007

The second thing is this. My dad loved The Beatles, and he definitely passed that on to me. I love this song because it speaks volumes and there is an eternal message attached to it. "And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make." You all know I miss my dad something awful, and this blog not only serves as an outlet to get the creative juices flowing, but it allows me to really remember the impact my dad has made on me. I am a better person, the person I am today, because I had such an amazing role model.