Random Musing - July 25, 2011

Is the blog dead? NO! God no! I have been on a brief hiatus doing this thing called living my life! Yes, that's right, Mr. Christopher actually has a life again, which is amazeballs! So, where do I begin?
We will start with the great news which is down 60 pounds (ok, give or take ten but its summer and there are beers to be drunk, rich foods to eat, and lounging to do!). The amazing thing is that I love the gym now. Not in that "I-work-out-a-million-times-a-week-and-if-you-don't-your-shit" kind of way, but in the "I-know-that-this-will-pay-off-and-I-will-have-fun" sort of way. Plus, I have an amazing workout partner that makes it worthwhile, fun, and most of all, something I look forward to.
Speaking of changes, I got a new tattoo... actually, that makes two in a year. And I am going to get another soon! Here is the new one, which isn't that new anymore.

This was taken the day I got it. Oh, Happy Mother's Day, mom! :)

The Bruins won the Stanley Cup, too, and as much as I am not a hockey fan, the fact that I got to watch the final game with some of my favorite people was a highlight of the past few months. And Tim Thomas is sex on a rink, so I was ecstatic to see him all smiles!
What's next? I have some time off, four more classes until I get my MBA, a potential side business on the rise and the opportunity to hang out with some great people. Oh, and spending time with someone amazing doesn't hurt either (and they know who they are!).
I promise to be more diligent about posting, and maybe not as maudlin as I have been previously.

Random Musing - March 6, 2011

Ok, I say this EVERY TIME I write, but this time, it's true - I am going to start writing more. And this time, I am adding photos! Why you ask? Well, I am officially doing the Macho Man Beard Contest and raising money for a good cause. The Make -A- Wish Foundation is a cause near and dear to me as it provides a glimmer of hope for children with pressing needs. My company is sponsoring this initiative from March 7 to June 3. In that time, I cannot, nor will I, shave. My goal is to have a full beard by Gay Pride (and raise a shitload of money for charity).  So I am asking you, my friends, family, and friends, to sponsor me in my quest to grow a beard and help out a bunch of kids. One of my resolutions this year was to be more charitable, and I cannot think of a better way to do that than by avoiding the Braun razor and saving ten minutes in the morning.

Day 1 is officially tomorrow, so my clean-shaven mug will be see for the first time since June, 2010. This is a big deal for me, so I hope you will all support me in my cause. Additional details will follow, but in the meantime, enjoy this.

The creepy 70s porn star mustachio will be leaving the building tomorrow, no worries!

Thanks in advance for helping me raise some cash. My goal is to raise $3000 for the Make-A-Wish foundation.

Random Musing - January 17, 2011

Last night, Chris Cofler won a Golden Globe for his role on Glee. I love that show, but I think I love it because of the way that Chris Cofler's character, Kurt, is written. He is flamboyant, sensitive, and a fashionista, just like I was when I was 17 trying to find my way in high school. He is bullied for being different, just as I was, and he rises above it on a regular basis, just like I did. In his acceptance speech, Cofler told those kids who are different and who are bullied because of it to keep on being themselves. I am inspired.
I am inspired because in this day and age, it is easier to be out than it was when I was a kid. I hated going to school everyday when I was 17. I hated that just because I was different, I was scapegoated and made to feel like less of a person. I hated the taunts, the jeers, the shoves, the names, and everything else that made me feel insignificant. But I was incredibly lucky. I had people who had my back, stood up for me, and made that pain disappear immediately. I can't imagine not having a network like I have, and I would hate to think about what would have happened if I didn't.
I know that there are several people from my youth who read my posts. I am grateful for that, but more grateful that because you knew me in my awkward years and stood by my side, I am who I am today. Sure, I have had my run of bad luck over the past few years, but it hasn't stopped me from being who I am. I guess I am pretty lucky; I am still here, and everyday is a new adventure.
I wouldn't trade my life in for anything. I LOVE who I am. I love that I have amazing people in my life who challenge me on a daily basis. I love that I have a family who would take a bullet for me, let alone provide me with advice that is so important and so necessary. I love that my friends who knew me then, loved me then, and stood up for me then, are the same ones who continue to do that today.
Tonight, this puts everything into perspective. And, congratulations to Chris Cofler. He is not just my hero, but an amazing human being who has so much more to offer the entertainment and LGBT community.

Random Musing - January 2, 2011

Well, well, well. At the urging of my biggest follower - my sister Amy - I am starting back up and hoping that whatever randomness I find exciting entertains, educates, and makes you, my readers, think about the world around you.
It's a new year... so let the cliches begin! Clean slates for everyone! Really? No, not really! I don't believe in the clean slate. I don't think that we should be given an opportunity to make mistakes and not pay the consequences that come with them. I don't think that we should write people off who have crossed us or done us wrong. No, sports fans, I think that these moments are the impetus for us to change the things that we dislike, but not forget them. I would rather have a dirty slate anyway... it's old, it's comfortable, and most of all, its me. It's character building. It makes me who I am, and some of the dirt on that slate was fun when it happened.
This year, I did make a few resolutions. Nothing too major, but enough to make small, subtle changes to what I am expecting will be a fabulous year. I have had two really SHITTY years, and all comments aside, I wouldn't trade in some of those life lessons I learned (I would however, would have found the cure for cancer and saved my dad so we could talk football and I could laugh with him again). So with you, sports fans, I share with you my resolutions.

#1. I resolve to make healthier choices. That's right. I am opting for dressing on side, steamed and not fried, and sharing appetizers and nibbles when out. Actually, I am opting to cooking in more, showing my flair in the kitchen, and bringing my own lunch to work. Which leads me to the second resolution.

#2. I resolve to save more and spend less. Actually, I need to save more. I need to stop with the grande-cafe-mocha-non-fat-no-whip at Starbucks everyday. (No, I don't do that everyday!). But I think I may have to suck it up and drink the coffee at work instead of spending the $2.41 on my Extra Large French Vanilla regular at Dunkin Donuts everyday. It's cost effective.

#3. I resolve to continue to go to shows. Yes. I know I said I would save more, so I am making a concert budget so I can see the acts I want to see and not have that painful regret and say " I shoulda gone to that show." Yeah. That's right. A concert budget.

#4. I will continue to connect with old friend via the Internet. I love that. I love that people give me a "remember when... " at least once a week. It's fun. I laugh a lot! I need to laugh. Laughing is therapeutic.

#5. I will maintain and develop the friendships I have. I met some INCREDIBLE people this past year; people I know have had an impact on me, and who will continue to have an impact on me. It really is true... when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Only mine is a really boozey, sassy lemonade. And it's tasty. And I have really embraced the hand I was dealt (again with the cliches). I am working things out.. making the best of them. Fortunately for me, I have an AMAZING network of people, many who I know would take a bullet for me or help me bury a body, but regardless, they are there.

So what does this year have in store for me? Who knows. Just as long as it was better than last. I know it will involve a lot of Real Housewives, evenings of BLACKOUT, and a lot of laughs. A whole shitload of laughs. So, as I raise my glass and toast the new year, and say GOOD RIDDANCE to the last, I leave you with this. I absolutely love this song... and it pretty much sums up how I feel about the New Year. And it's friggin Death Cab, for crying out loud. It wouldn't be a post without a hot-as-shit video.

I hope this year is prosperous, fruitful and fabulous, but most importantly, I hope that if there are lessons to be learned, you get to learn them.

Random Musing - December 11, 2010

Seriously, I have been bad. Really bad. It has been six weeks since my last post. God, what has happened to the zeal I had originally? I am definitely going to be better about this. I promise. Really.

So, the holiday season is in full effect, and for those of you who *really* know me, I LOATHE this time of year. I hate the bloody music, the damn traffic, the crowds at the malls, the decreased amount in my checking account. Hate it. So next year, friends and family, I will be making donations in your name to a charity of your choice. That way, I can avoid the traffic, the crowds, the screaming brats, the bitchy shoppers, and maintain my sanity. See, I am not a grinch, or a Scrooge, or any of the other unsavory anti-Christmas characters out there; I just dislike this time of year. Though the silver lining is that I get to hang out with my family, which is the best gift in the world.

Random Musing - November 1, 2010

I am slacking, or so I have been told by my dear friend, Hillary. It's true, but I have good reason. Classes started back up, and this one is seriously a snoozefest, but I still have to maintain that GPA.
I have been very pensive lately, and I think it is a good time to go back to what makes me happy: music. I posted on Facebook this evening that the album Transatlanticsm holds a special and dear place in my heart and is an album that truly defines me. If you don't own it, get it now. So, with that being said, I would like to share what I will call "The Soundtrack of my Life." I hope you enjoy it.
These 30 songs all hold a special place for me. I know all the words. They all "speak" to me. They make me incredibly happy, sad, thoughtful, angsty, and most of all, they make me. People laugh at me all the time because I go right to music and mention songs. It's fun. Here is my list.
1. "Inbetween Days" - The Cure "And I know I was wrong when I said it was true, that it could have been me, to get caught inbetween without you!"
2. "A Lack of Color" - Death Cab for Cutie "And when I see you, I really see you upside down."
3. "Live Forever" - Oasis "Maybe you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see. You and I are gonna live forever!"
4. "Common People" - Pulp "Still you'll never get it right, when you lay in bed at night. Watching roaches climb the wall. If you called your dad he could stop it all, but... you'll never be like common people!"
5. "Debaser" - The Pixies "Want to grow, grow up to be, be a debaser!"
6. "Head On" - The Jesus and Mary Chain "And the way I'm feeling tonight, oh I could die and I wouldn't mind!"
7. "A Praise Chorus" - Jimmy Eat World "I wanna always feel like part of this was mine! I wanna fall in love tonight!"
8. "Have a Little Faith in Me"- John Hiatt "And when the tears you cry, are all you can believe... just give these loving arms a try, and have a little faith in me."
9. "Little Plastic Castle" - Ani DiFranco "They say goldfish have no memories. I guess their lives are much like mine."
10. "I Wanna Be Adored" - Stone Roses "I don't need to sell my soul... he's already in me"
11. "Another Girl, Another Planet" - The Other Ones "I can face your threats. Stand up tall and scream and shout about it."
12. "I Don't Know What I Can Save You From" - Kings of Convenience "I slowly tried to bring back the image of your face from the memories so old."
13. "If I Can't Change Your Mind" - Sugar "Tears fill up my eyes, I'm washed away with sorrow. And somewhere in my mind, I know there's no tomorrow. Well soon, you're leaving soon, I guess you had your fill. But if I can't change your mind than no one will."
14. "Need You Around" - Smoking Popes "And I'm gonna feel this way till I'm six feet underground. Crazy as it sounds. I need you around."
15. "Tell Her This" - Del Amitri "Tell her the chips are down. I drank too much and shouted it aloud. Tell her something in my heart needs her more than clowns need the laughter of the crowd. And tell her from this high terrain, I am learning how to fall"
16. "Too Much Passion" - Smithereens "When I kiss your lips, I just don't want to behave."
17. "Cemetery Gates" - The Smiths "Keats and Yeats are on your side but you lose, cause Wilde is on mine!"
18. "Chasing Pavements" - Adele "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere."
19. "Home and Dry" - Pet Shop Boys "Oh tonight I miss you, oh tonight I wish you could be here with me but I won't see you till you make it home and dry"
20. "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" - Eric Burdon on the Animals "We gotta get out of this place, if it's the last thing we ever do."
21. "Waterloo Sunset" - The Kinks "But I don't get afraid as long as I gaze on Waterloo Sunset, I am in paradise"
22. "Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself" - Morrissey "Don't rank up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are!"
23. "God Only Knows" - The Beach Boys "If you should ever leave me, life will still go on believe me"
24. "Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors" - Editors "We've all changed from what we were. Our broken parts smashed on the floor. I can't believe you if I can't hear you"
25. "Mistaken For Strangers" - The National "Cause you don't mind yourself in a picture as long as you look faraway, as long as you look removed."
26. "Nothing Better" - Postal Service "Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better?"
27. "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young "This does not mean I don;t love you, I do. That's forever."
28. "Golden Brown" - The Stranglers "Never a frown with golden brown"
29. "I'm Allowed" - Buffalo Tom "They stopped my bleeding, my they could not stop all my tears."
30. "Ever Fallen in Love" -The Buzzcocks "You spurn my natural emotion, and make me feel like dirt. And I'm hurt."

There are more and more songs that are getting to me now. The older I get, the more nostalgic I feel. This is 30 songs, off the top of my head, and there are more that will make this list. Each one has a different emotion for me.

Now my challenge for you is: How many of these do you know?

Random Musing - October 14, 2010

WOW! It has been a while since my last post. I need to really be better about this stuff.

I recently returned from a business trip to San Diego (a whale's vagina), and boy, did I have fun! I love the west coast. It is so... different. People say hello to you. There isn't a lot of haughtiness or attitude, and the food, well, let's just say, I ate (and drank) my face off. I want to move there... so much in fact that I am working my magic. I need a change of scenery. Sure, I have EVERYTHING here; a great group of friends, my funny, yet abrasive sister, and her family, a wonderful job... but I will be 35 and the east coast is really all I know. I think a change would be great.

Speaking of change, tonight I write with a heavy heart. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of my father's death from liver cancer, and you all know that the pain is there, but somehow I am managing to make the best of it. I miss Big Daddy a ton, especially this time of year. When I was a kid, I would dread chores with my dad, like raking the yard or stacking wood, but those memories always seem to come back to me when I see the leaves change. When I watch football, the memories of my dad in front of the TV with his feet up in his chair are evoked, and I chuckle that now, in my 30s, I am doing the EXACT same thing. I am so much like him sometimes, it is scary, but I wouldn't change it.

I wasn't there when my dad passed. My mom called me at work and said "we lost Daddy." My world stopped, the phone dropped and I began to wail in my office. Luckily for me, I have incredible co-workers who I am proud and privileged to call friends come right into my office and support me, even offering to drive me, in rush hour traffic, to the hospice facility nearly 40 miles out of their way. On my way home, I saw an 8-point buck on a side road in Weston just stop and stare at me. I felt like my dad was there, telling me he wasn't really gone, but I had to really look hard to see him.

I remember going to the hospice facility and seeing my mom and my sister hovered over my dad like he was still there, though he was gone. And at that point, I realized how peaceful he was. He wasn't in pain. He wasn't upset that he couldn't do things on his own. He was at rest and he was looking out for us. He assumed a new role, making sure that we were ok, and we were living. When they took him out to the hearse, I lost it. I knew he was really gone, and that my world was forever changed. The next few days were a blur. The calls, cards, trays of food, visits, e-mails, facebook posts, hugs, tears, and errands all wrapped themselves together.

A year has gone by. That is a long time but it flew. It seems like it was just yesterday I was on the beach with my Mom and Dad enjoying a Low Country Spring, and watching my dad see his grand kids play. I love those memories. I miss my dad. I miss him something awful. I am glad he was there though, especially when I needed someone to talk to. Even in his last days, he was always a great listener and he gave the best advice. I can't replace that. And you know what, I am pretty happy about that.